And Moses said to the Lord, If Your Presence does not go with me, do not carry us up from here! – Exodus 33:15
This has always been my prayer. To be where God wants me to be. As a student leaving home for university, I was more concerned about where the Lord wanted me (turned out it was the other end of the country – Dunedin), than what to study (I didn’t get into fine art school, so went for an art history major along with archaeology/anthropology/chemistry/history mix).
Around 9 years ago, I felt ‘the pull’ to support dear friends in their ministry. It was an intense pull, but as I hadn’t really experienced it like that before, I was hesitant for some time to make the change that would need to occur. Turning towards something, usually requires leaving something. And people are precious, and I dislike ‘leavings’. But the pull was that strong, that I knew resisting it, meant resisting God. I had to make the transition. And looking back I know it was the perfect decision. My heart was aligned fully with what God was doing.
Then, after a few years, sadly this ministry came to an end; (details of which I won’t go into). I was shellshocked. Lost. Disoriented. Orphaned in a sense. It was an utterly lonely gut-wrenching season.
And although the last few years has been a journey not only of healing, but of growth, of impartation, of discovery; I have endeavored to be led by God, to be where He wants me to be. I have felt normadic, following the cloud by day and the fire by night, setting down and picking up. And I’m quite over the moving, I can assure you!
Always seeking where God wants me, each move in prayer. But never that pull, never that heart/spirit connection. Having experienced living in that place of heart connection, I have recognised it’s absence.
Until about 3 weeks ago. Is it to much of the ‘early days’ to tell you? No. I know that pull. That divine, supernatural, God inspired pull, (or ‘sending’ depending on your viewpoint. )
There was no dramatic prophetic word. No visible angelic visitation (and yes I’m open to both of those!), but where there had been an absence of that connection in my spirit for several years, it suddenly reappeared. All that had happened in the natural, was a text invite (that I couldn’t actually accept at that time due to family priorities.. Ie having son/mum time on the ps3. Yes, truly, that is a special time with my son, I try to do weekly). But that invite resonated on the inside of me. And I knew that despite not knowing the people involved in this ministry, having never met them, or how their ministry actually looked, I knew the Lord’s call.
Appointed place. Appointed time.
It is an appointing by God. Not appointed to be or do as in 1 Chronicles 9,15,16 where people are appointed over furniture, to sound bronze cymbols, to minister before the ark of the Lord,
But an appointed time (Genesis 18:9 ), and place.
A kairos moment of time. As Mark Chironna writes in his book ‘The Prophetic Perspective’
“KAIROS IS A POWERFUL WORD AND A MORE POWERFUL EVENT. IT IS the pivotal moment in which two things happen: First, we become acutely aware of opportunity or potential. Second, we become acutely focused to apprehend it.”
I know that right now, at this time, I am to join this ministry. That God has purposed me to do so. An appointment from the Lord.
And as Mark writes further about the lead up to a kairos moment
“While it is unlikely that Peter and John expected an encounter with the Messiah that morning, something was already working within them; it was tangible enough that when He said, “Follow Me,”they followed without hesitation.”
And that’s the what that pull is. The Lord saying ‘follow me’. So, I am following, in awe.